Why don’t cuts, scrapes, bruises, and maladies heal in Utila? My feet are still torn up from using the dive shop fins. Every time they get close to blistering over, I forget my socks and bust them up again. I’ve got a stuffy nose that just won’t quit. (In moments of self-denial I tell myself this is the reason I have been slacking on diving. In reality it is because I’m cheap and distracted.) My hands are torn up from tossing BCDs into the water in Rescue two weeks ago, carrying tanks, and surely other blunders since. I’m still recovering from a crap bikini wax from last week. I’m a mix of sunburnt (complete with a white handprint on my stomach, oi) and the most tan I’ve been in my entire life. I’ve got a huge scrape on my right knee from a late night out that hurts and is turning purple.

WTF Utila? Why won’t you let me get better? Well, it’s humid, hotter than hell (100+ daily now), I’m in salt water often, and I’m betting all the rum doesn’t help. Luckily, I’m surrounded by people with first aid training… time for another gauze tune up.